co-creating clarity + vision in your home
I feel like I talk about this often... but here I am, talking about it again. Because this conversation is not dead.
As a high schooler, I knew that whatever it was I ended up going to college for, had to become a career. It had to have the opportunity to make a decent salary the second that cap was thrown at graduation, with health insurance, a retirement plan, and a ladder to climb. I found a scholarship, a degree to pursue, met my husband, graduated, went to grad school, graduated again, and got a job.
I think, what we all skip over, is why we feel this need to settle with something that doesn't light us up? The challenge of college lit me up - getting out of my hometown was exciting, meeting my husband was maybe why God gifted me this propensity in math and problem solving to begin with (my degrees are in ocean engineering and business) - but what didn't light me up?
It was after graduation, sitting in an 8-5 with an hour lunch break and having a cap on my income with people whose light isn't shining that didn't excite me. That I blamed for this cycle of living paycheck to paycheck, of blaming other people for my income not rising, for my student loans, for not having time with my baby when we had Harlee a few years into my cubicle life.
Harlee. My daughter and the little shining star who changed it all. She got me thinking about my priorities. Do I care about working on someone else's dream? Do I care about my own dreams? Did I even have any dreams that were my own? Watching financial struggles for most of my life, being an older sister and feeling like somehow I had to be "responsible" for everyone, I felt like I had to be "safe" and create that "safe" income for myself and my family.
Who else is ready to say forget that, because safe doesn't necessarily mean you are following that God-ordained vision that was set for you before you were even born? What if your vision calls for seeking first His kingdom - then realizing your path needs a bit of (or a lot of) a turn? What if you have to step totally out of your comfort zone to experience the greatness that is in store for you - would you do it? Would you take what you've learned and realize that it's life lessons for scaling up and moving forward, or would you be so scared to let go of the identify you've created for yourself and stay stuck in the past?
Becoming a mom and switching from saying "I'm an engineer" and ending a conversation to having two toddlers now and responding to the question of "What do you do?" with "I teach people about essential oils and how to use them as natural solutions in their homes - have you ever used essential oils before?" and HAVING a conversation has been a HUGE shift for me. Learning to listen, learning to feel, learning to process emotions from my heart and not numbers on a calculator (or let's be real - excel) has not been an easy transition. I've had to tear down blocks and walls around myself I had built up my entire life, that did their job protecting me when I needed it, but had become a hindrance in this path I've chosen - this path of vulnerability, honesty, and (gasp) emotions. You won't see me leaving my house now without my emotional aromatherapy oils because I have experienced the POWER of what it looks like to have these tools in my hands.
Because a blog post to me isn't complete without a set of actionable items, a list of tips, or a process to re-create... here are my top tips for learning to settle into a new role in life, when you haven't quite let go of your old one yet:
- Pray. You probably feel that pull to create, to solve a problem, to get out of your current situation. What are God's promises for you? Does this align with His will for you? I love how Visioneering (a book by Andy Stanley) puts this - "Do you see a connection between your various visions and what God is up to in this world?" Pray about THAT.
- Investigate. Don't move too quickly (but also MOVE) - evaluate, ask questions, make sure it's the right direction for you and your family. I must have read up on this doTERRA biz for 40 hours, talked about it for about 10 minutes (that was a lot for me at the time, haha) until I reached out and got the support I needed to get started.
- Go for the new, and let go of the old. For me, the hardest part was letting go of my identity - my brother called it DINKS (double income, no kids) - and accepting the process. I had to realize and accept that my past was there to build steps to my present and my future, and that my background in engineering/becoming a mom/general life growing up actually totally relates to where I am today and helped guide me here.
- Seriously, enjoy the process. Realize the process is a gift, that people are brought into your life for a reason, and that you are successful each day you show up and work towards that beautiful vision of yours.
- Be nice to people. Because even though you think you may never see them again, you likely will. Life is interesting like that. Be a light, seek light, and spread light... you never know who needs you and your message.
- Post anyways. What if an old co-worker sees this? What if I get judged because maybe I haven't reached exactly where I wanted to be yet? What if I get judged because ultimately, I want to help people get out of the cubicle and that offends someone? Because I was there... and totally didn't realize that I could have my own mission in life. I didn't know that I could co-create something beautiful and have this vision that far exceeds my own expectations and limits that I set for myself. I am smart and have the ability to realize my vision - so why not me? There is no reason to doubt yourself. Borrow my belief if you need to - I have certainly borrowed others until my own was created.
You can ground all of this with an oil called Clary Sage, which is called the oil of clarity and vision. I love to apply a drop on my forehead or behind my ears, and it allows me to open myself to new perspectives and possibilities, envision the potential of my dreams, and clear my mind to experience my visions before it happens. Essential oils have been a powerful grounding and guiding tool through this journey of mine - to hear a bit more about how these oils work, check out the resources tab on this site (and why you shouldn't just go buy it off the shelf of your local health food store).
And while I can no longer recall what original blog post I saw this on - this quote resonated with me so much. What outcome are you holding onto - is it time to let go of it to give space for something greater?